Okay, so since the newsletter format wasn't working for me, we'll try a blog. Hopefully I'll keep everyone up a little better with this. Crossing fingers sometimes Shawn will post.

Our life is becoming a quirky game of M.A.S.H.

We went to check out the apartments in Largo today, but it started pouring rain just as we came in, so it wasn't much of a look. But if we choose an apartment, it'll probably be that one. It's only a few minutes from Shawn's work and around the corner from the Southwest Recreation Complex. It's nice. And it's $825 a month. Of rent. Plus all utilities. We could buy a house in St. Pete, or a condo in Largo and not have much higher of a mortgage payment.

But apartments are easy. If there's a hurricane, no big deal. There's no dealing with inspectors or things breaking, or what have you. It's not yours, so there's nothing to lose.

I would like to own our place. I'm tired of throwing money away on rent. Tired of dealing with carpet and allergies. But at the same time I don't think we're up for the complications of home ownership (or, more to the point, home purchasing) just yet. Not while we're juggling the complications of fertility treatments and trying to buy a second car.

I'd say we'd just rent another year, but at the same time I groan at paying $750 in deposits to only stay a year, so in reality, we'll probably be there two or three.

There's a lot to consider, and while we're not moving until April, it seems the closer April comes, the more options there are.

I've been doing most of my sleeping during the day lately. It's been nice, actually, with the downside of Shawn missing me while he sleeps. I try to snuggle him to sleep most nights, then get back up once he's snoring.

I guess I'm strange in that I've always prefered sleeping alone, in as small a space as my body will fit. Preferably a cushy loveseat or a big chair I can curl up in. One of these days I will buy a cozy chair. I've been trying to sleep in the one we've got, and it's just not made for me at all.

These days, in general, I'm just in too much pain to sleep well, so I need to be as cozy as possible. That and it's nice being awake when Shawn's here, and I can be comforted by the sounds of his sleeping, and then sleep when he's gone. Being able to meditate before nodding off isn't something I'll complain about, either.

Since my last haircut was a bust, and the way she "layered" it (she didn't, really, she just angled it, and not even high enough to do any good), my "fixing" (hahaha) really just made it way, way too thin for my liking, I think it's really time to chop it off. I've been adding older pics to the gallery and ooing myself with short hair, so that's not helped.

This will probably be the last time I chop it in my life. I always planned for it to be long once it really started going gray, and I imagine in the next three years it'll take to grow it this length again, the gray will start showing quite a bit.

I may whack it off myself in the next day or two, then get it "fixed" whenever Shawn needs his hair trimmed next. Or maybe I'll splurge and see if Shawn will take me to get it cut on Monday when he's off. Hmmm.

So today was my three month checkup with my family doctor. All is pretty good, considering. The Glucophage appears to be helping - my blood pressure is back down to normal and my weight is down a little. No sign of independent ovulation, though.

The only bit of scary was that my heart rate was a tiny bit high (104bpm) but steady. They took blood to check for anemia, but it's likely the Effexor. She said it wasn't a huge concern, it being barely above "normal" (though not normal for me at all), and we'd take another look at it in 6 months. Shame it doesn't count as aerobics!

We see the fertility specialist Tuesday after next. More then.

All further health-related ponderings and moanings will be over here, where they will be much more easily avoided.

There's something really pleasant to me about cutting my own hair. I could've gotten it done for free, since it was so long, and I'm sending the ponytail to Locks of Love. But I just wanted to do it myself. I'll get it cleaned up whenever Shawn goes to get his done.

Anyway, it's shortish, and cute, and I'm happy.

UPS and FedEx arrived today with a new outfit and shoes for me. And I just realized - everything's black! I think my standard outfit tends to be jeans with a black tank top from as far back as I can remember (or peasant skirts and blouses when I want to look frilly), but make it black jeans and I look pseudogothy.

I'm also amused that it's the end of July and I just got my first summer shirt.

I usually stick to Gala apples, but last time we went to Wild Oats, I got a couple others types to try: Braeburn on suggestion, and Pink Lady out of curiosity.

I just had the Pink Lady for lunch. Omg, too sweet, too sweet! These would be great in lots of deserts (or maybe no-sugar-added applesauce) - but no good for eating raw. At least for me, and I have one hell of a sweet tooth.

There were a lot of things in my life - friends, goals, hobbies - that I lost over the past year, when I was just too consumed with other things to make time for them. I've been able to reconnect lately with these things that bring me great joy.

It's been really good. Really good.

When you're walking on your petite pants.

http://www.jacksonpollock.org/

double click to change color

Linda turned me on to these little cuties. If the price tag weren't so high, I'd be whining for one for my birthday. As it is, I don't know anyone else who has one, so it'd be a bit useless at this point.

One of my most beloved hobbies is coloring mandalas. It's a means of self-expression, creation, relaxation, and instruction. One day I hope to buy some paints and take my mandala coloring out of Photoshop and into my hands, and one day I hope to create my own mandalas. The last 2 days I've been obsessing a bit, completing six.